In an intimate relationship, the way to make the other party love you more and more and rely on you: 'Guide emotions'

In Greek mythology, there is such a story.

There is a hero named "Hercules", who is a man of temperament and a man with a hot temper.

One day, on his way home, Hercules saw a package lying in the middle of the road.

Out of curiosity, he kicked the package with one kick.

It stands to reason that his strength is enough to kick the package to pieces or kick it far away, but instead of being damaged, the package is getting bigger and bigger.

This ignited the anger in Hercules' heart.

He kicked and kicked the package as it grew in size until it completely blocked the way home.

Hercules was furious.

At this time, an old man appeared beside him and said to him: "Young man, stop quickly, what you are kicking is called anger; the more you kick him, the more he will expand, and in the end it will only bring you More damage."

Anger is a state of emotional expression in a person.

In intimate relationships, anger is the essential cause of hurt feelings.

Why do some couples become more and more in love, while others quickly reach the point where their relationship breaks down?

Essentially, it’s because emotions are channeled differently.

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You are angry, the other party is also angry

This brings me to a consulting case.

A female reader asked me angrily. She said:

"I'm almost mad at my boyfriend. I've been in love for 2 years, and I just found out that he is such an unreliable person."

As she continued to tell, I sorted out the context of the conflict between the two.

That day, the girl worked overtime until very late before returning home.

Worked late, tired and hungry, and waited half an hour for a taxi;

In the company, because she sent the wrong documents, she was publicly criticized by her boss in the group, and because she made a mistake, she was punished with half a day's salary;

When I went back downstairs, I found that I forgot to bring the keys to the house, and my mobile phone was turned off.

Then she knocked on the door, and after knocking for 5 minutes, her boyfriend opened the door.

She asked her boyfriend: "Didn't you hear me knocking on the door outside? Are you deaf? It's so cold outside, do you want to freeze me to death?"

Immediately following:

She saw that there was not even any leftovers on the table.

Looking at the boyfriend's study room, there are game screens on the computer and the smell of cigarettes all over the room.

At that moment, the girl could no longer hold back the anger in her heart.

While crying, cursing the boy, saying all kinds of ugly things, and finally crying loudly.

After crying, she found that her boyfriend was still indifferent.

She's about to lose her temper again.

At this time, the boy's long-suppressed emotions also burst out.

The boy said: "You only know that I care about you. Have you ever cared about me? Have you noticed that something is wrong with me recently?"

Only realized after the quarrel.

It turned out that my boyfriend had just lost his job recently and had no savings at all; and the reason why he didn't open the door just now was because he was so focused on the video interview that he didn't hear the knock on the door outside.

He has interviewed with more than a dozen companies without success.

There is warm food in the pot in the kitchen, which has been prepared long ago and is waiting for the girl to go home to eat.

It turned out that the anger and conflict between the two people all stemmed from "not understanding".

Girls do not understand the pressure and emotions of boys, and do not notice the changes in boys;

The boys failed to comfort the girls' emotions in time, which caused the girls' anger to explode further.

When you are angry, the other party is also very angry; because your negative emotions will also be passed on to the other party.

When you are emotionally stable and try your best to communicate with the other party, the other party will continue to chat along your train of thought.

do you understand?

In intimate relationships, most conflicts are caused by emotional instability and further expansion.

The conflict itself is not important, what is important is the emotions and attitudes of two people when resolving the conflict.

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Learn to guide emotions in order to maintain a good relationship

Many people are asking:

"How to make the other party rely on me more and more and love me more and more?"

In fact, the best way is to provide the other party with a sufficiently high emotional value.

Let the other person depend on you emotionally, and the love for you in his heart will increase unconsciously.

Go back to the previous case.

I told the girls:

You need to do 3 things right now.

The first thing: Be soft, bow your head to your boyfriend to admit your mistake, and express your apology.

The second thing: tell the other party why you had such a big emotional outburst that day, then express that you understand your boyfriend's misfortune, and then explain your feelings and support for him.

The third thing: accompany your boyfriend to screen jobs, stabilize his emotions, and comfort his experiences.

While comforting the other party's negative emotions, guide the other party to have positive emotions.

What is the most important thing in love?

Not money, not status, but "understanding".

Liao Yimei said in "The Rhino in Love":

"It is not rare to encounter sex or love in this life; what is rare is to encounter understanding."

It is better to understand you than to love you alone;

It is better to understand you than to accompany you alone.

Because being with someone who understands you, understands you, and is willing to tolerate your negative emotions will make you feel more secure.

Just like how children treat their parents.

Those children who are confident, optimistic, and secure have emotionally stable parents behind them.

The same is true in love.

Read now, do you understand?

Let your partner trust you, rely on you, love you more, it's that simple:

Both of them have stable emotions, and the relationship will of course go in a better direction.

Today's topic:

In a relationship, can you control your emotions?

(The source network of the article with pictures)