The most advanced 'self-discipline' for the rest of your life: focus on the present, be emotionally stable, and learn to be alone
Tagore has such a poem in "Flying Bird Collection":
"If you cry all day long because you miss the sun, the stars will die from you."
I take it for granted.
Clinging to the past will not only make you lose the present, but also make you miss the future.
What is the best way to live the rest of your life?
-01
Get rid of the past and focus on the present
We can't change what has happened because it's all in the past.
There is no medicine for regret in this world, so the only thing you can do is to try to make up for your losses after things happen.
"It is not too late".
If you realize that you have suffered a loss, you should stop the loss in time. No matter what field you are in, you must understand the principle of stopping the loss in time.
for example:
Your work can no longer bring you more things, your contribution is completely out of proportion to your return, and there are better opportunities waiting for you, so you should decisively pursue better choices.
In love, there is no love with the other party, and some are only consumed, and you should give up at this time.
Only by stopping losses in time can you adjust your state in time from past frustrations and regrets.
If you cling to the past every day and think about past achievements and experiences every day, then you will also miss the present.
What are people most afraid of?
Live in regret, do not do well in the present, and screw up the future by yourself.
In intimate relationships, this is evident.
I think of a consulting case.
When the girl broke up with her first love, she was already 26 years old. She fell in love with her first boyfriend for 8 years and was finally dumped.
Frustrated, the girl has been single, and she will never forget this relationship.
Now the girl is 33 years old, and she still hasn't come out of her psychological shadow.
Although she understood all the truth, she still couldn't let it go.
What is the result waiting for her?
Or find someone casually and make do with marriage;
Either she will be single all her life and live alone, but she will always have regrets in her heart.
In life, only by focusing on the present can we have a better future.
-02
Control emotions, learn to "let go"
Emotionally stable people are really attractive.
The older you get, the more you feel: Emotional stability is probably the best practice for a person.
Don't be sad or happy, don't cling to the past, don't worry about the future, just do the things at hand well.
That's a good mentality.
Emotionally unstable people have these characteristics:
often transfer their emotions to those around them;
He is very polite and respectful to outsiders, but he has a bad temper towards those close to him;
Feeling irritable for no reason and unable to control your emotions;
Whenever negative emotions arise, I want to vent them out immediately, and it is best to transfer them to others.
Living with someone who is emotionally unstable can leave you feeling tired and anxious.
So, we want to be an "emotionally stable" person.
What do we need to do to have a stable mood?
Number one: Before losing your temper, let yourself be quiet for 3 seconds
From a psychological point of view, it takes 3 seconds for a person to enter a state of anger.
If you can try to restrain yourself and calm down your emotions during these 3 seconds, then you will be able to control your anger.
Second: have an optimistic attitude
Optimistic, cheerful, and positive, such people can easily digest their negative emotions.
Because everything they see is beautiful.
Third: try empathy
Empathy is also a way to stabilize our own emotions.
The stronger the empathy, the better able to empathize. This is what we often call the ability of "empathy".
This is especially important in the process of getting along with couples and husbands and wives.
When you learn to empathize, you won't be so emotional.
-03
have the ability to learn
No matter what stage of life you are in, you should not lose the good habit of learning.
When we were students, we studied in order to be admitted to university and change our destiny through reading.
After joining the work, we learn to improve our skills and make us more competitive in our careers.
After getting married, starting a business, and having children, I want to maintain the habit of learning in the hope that I can become a role model for my children and let them develop a good habit of loving learning.
The study after middle age is to keep us "curious" about the world.
People are not afraid of old age, everyone will grow old; however, the mentality cannot be old.
And learning is the best way to keep our spirit and mind young.
I have seen writer Yu Hua's state when he participated in the program, and he is a person with a particularly good attitude.
From him, you can feel that his vitality is particularly strong, and he is full of curiosity about the world.
In the process of learning, you can enjoy being alone and develop a good habit of being alone;
And those who enjoy being alone can endure loneliness and are not afraid of the hardships of life.
Summarize:
What good habits of self-discipline should we develop in life?
Don't cling to the past, focus on the present.
Take control of your emotions and be an emotionally stable person.
Always maintain the ability to learn.
Today's topic:
What habits have you been sticking to?
(The source network of the article with pictures)