Psychology: When someone 'talks bad about you behind your back', the most level response
"It is easy to hide a sharp spear, but it is difficult to defend against a hidden arrow."
Do you know what those martial arts masters fear most in martial arts novels?
Not afraid of heroes, not afraid of heroes, not afraid of people with their strength.
Masters are most afraid of "little ghosts".
Those who stumble behind, use hidden weapons, and sneak attack from behind are the ones who annoy the masters the most, and they are more afraid of them subconsciously.
In interpersonal relationships, people who like to "speak ill of you" behind their backs are those who are good at sneak attacks.
They don't play cards according to routines, and they do one thing on the surface and another behind the other.
Getting along with them, you just feel as if you are bound by "invisible palms".
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What is the psychology of the person who "speaks ill of you" behind his back?
First: from jealousy
Jealousy makes people lose their minds, and jealousy makes people flatter, even if it makes people ugly.
When a person is deeply jealous of your life, what you have, and your grades, he will do some irrational behavior.
Extreme people will hurt you and target you.
And those who like to play tricks will hurt you with verbal violence.
The most common ones are: slander, belittle, hit, mock you.
In a crowd, keep telling people bad things about you, even if they make it up.
Second: Speaking bad words is their social means
Psychologically speaking:
In a certain group, once your reputation is damaged, don't expect others to help you clarify; because many people will not only not stand by you, but will also bear the responsibility for further discrediting you.
It is so ironic and true in social life, especially in the workplace and on the Internet.
There are many people who are popular, and many pairs of eyes are staring at the backs of people who are doing well.
What's more, through the behavior of "stepping on you", they can become a small group.
for example:
When the people around you have a relatively strong person speaking ill of you, then the next most likely state will be: the people around you will also speak ill of you along with him.
like isolation.
If there is a stronger person with more resources who takes the lead in isolating you, then the rest of you will not be allowed to stand in line with you.
Even if you don't offend any of them, most people will still target you under the leadership of the "leader".
This is the essence of the "herd effect".
People often don't consider whether the front is a flat road extending in all directions or an abyss, because their attention is all attracted by the leader.
Third: Transfer the "aggression" towards you
There are some people whose life is not as good as yours, their abilities are not as good as yours, and they are not as good as you in every aspect.
They don't even have the courage to face you directly and compete with you.
At this time, the only thing they can do is "speak ill of you behind your back".
Fabricate something that hurts your image or interests in front of everyone.
Just like some "water armies" on the Internet now.
This is an aggressive behavior they have launched against you, transferring their anger and dissatisfaction with you through others.
There are some irrational "bystanders" who are easily led to join the ranks of attacking you.
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Someone speaks ill of you behind your back, what should you do?
Active Response Strategy:
- If the other party says bad things about you, it makes you feel uncomfortable, involves your privacy, and embarrasses you in front of the people around you.
At this time, directly express your thoughts and attitudes to the other party: "You embarrass me like this, and you embarrass me, and I don't want you to feel better."
If the relationship between the other party and you is considered a friend, then give the other party a step and convey your principles and bottom line to the other party.
- Clarify negative news about yourself in time.
If others are fabricating, maliciously slandering, and trying to discredit you, you must clarify at this time.
Only clarification can temporarily stop the rumors.
Simple, direct clarifications can make others feel your attitude.
"Being upright is not afraid of crooked shadows."
- Use more weapons to protect your rights and interests.
For example: the other party's slander has caused you a lot of losses; including your career, your reputation, etc. At this time, you must protect your own rights and interests.
Keep the evidence that the other party slanders you, and then use the law to defend yourself.
Passive strategy:
The best way to stay away from bad people is to leave their "low-level circle".
Instead of responding to them and wasting time on those who slander you and slander you, improve yourself.
When you are getting better and better and your life is getting better and better, leaving those who are jealous of you far behind, you will find that you simply "disdain" to argue with them.
Never "swear at each other" with those who belittle you, it will invisibly lower your tolerance and emotions.
The little devil is difficult to deal with, the only way is to stay away.
Today's topic:
How do you respond when someone speaks ill of you behind your back?
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