Psychology: How long does a couple fall in love before they can 'produce a relationship'?

A girl asked me for advice.

She fell in love for the first time, and she had only been with her boyfriend for less than a month, and she encountered the most confusing, struggling and resisting thing in more than 20 years.

The reason is: the boyfriend always finds various excuses to brainwash the girl and wants to have a relationship with her.

The boy said: "If you don't agree, you just don't love me."

The boy said: "I really love you, and I want to get married and be with you, what's wrong with having a relationship now?"

After the girl refused many times, the boy even forced her to obey by being cold, violent, angry, and proposing to break up.

But the girl did not compromise in the end, she refused decisively, and with the encouragement of her best friend, she took the initiative to break up.

Fortunately, the girl was not fooled, otherwise she would be another injured girl.

There is a question on Zhihu:

"How long does it take for two people to go from being in love to having a relationship?"

Below this question, a netizen said:

"It doesn't matter how long we have a relationship. What matters is what the purpose of our relationship is and how I feel about you."

-01

How long does it take for a couple to get along with each other?

First: Look at the purpose of love and the degree of affection

This reminds me of the conversation between Sanmao and Jose.

Jose asked, "What kind of person do you want to marry?"

Sanmao replied: "If you look pleasing to the eye, multi-millionaires will marry; if you don't like it, billionaires will marry too."

Jose: "After all, you still want to marry a rich man."

Sanmao said, "There are exceptions."

Jose asked, "Then you marry me?"

Sanmao replied: "Then you only need to have money for food."

The attitude of most girls in love is like "Sanmao".

When you meet true love, it is easy to lose your mind, and you are more willing to let nature take its course and develop according to the way the relationship should be.

As long as a girl is determined to love someone, she is willing to do so within a week;

If a girl doesn't love you and doesn't trust you, she doesn't plan to have a relationship even if she's been in a relationship for 1 year.

So, the point is:

When two people fall in love, if they both rush to get married and have a strong purpose, they will have a relationship soon;

The feelings are very deep, and it is a period of passionate love, and it is easy to be carried away by reason.

Second: Look at the means of managing emotions

This is more suitable for girls.

Many girls feel insecure when they are in a relationship.

She doesn't know how to manage a relationship so that boys can cherish themselves more.

Many girls regard the matter of "having a relationship" as a bargaining chip that boys will cherish themselves more.

As everyone knows, this bargaining chip is linked to human nature and has great instability.

If you have the means and know how to manage your relationship, whether you have a relationship has little to do with whether a man cherishes you or not;

If you don't know how to fall in love and don't know how to manage your relationship, even if you have a relationship with a boy soon, he won't cherish you.

Some boys "like the new and dislike the old" in their relationship.

When he got you, he started not to cherish;

The more you pester him, the more tired he will be of you.

-02

It is unfair to girls to have a relationship too early

In the "Journal of Family Psychology", there is such a set of data:

In the United States, more than 70% of couples choose to live together before marriage; and more than 80% of these couples who lived together before marriage broke up and did not successfully enter the marriage.

This shows what?

Couples who have a relationship too early can easily expose the problems in love, and then lose their tolerance, patience and love for each other early.

For some boys who lack a sense of morality and responsibility, he would think:

"Anyway, I've already got you. From you, I can't get much sense of accomplishment, desire to explore and desire to conquer, so it's better to leave you."

At this time, the harm to girls is great.

She thought she had met the right person, someone who was willing to marry her.

Unexpectedly, when she paid a high price, she was still cheated.

Analyze this matter from a rational point of view:

Boys should respect girls' ideas; if you really love her, don't force her.

Only those who don't love you will threaten you with "breakup" or "cold violence".

If a girl meets such a boy, stay away as soon as possible, because he really doesn't love you, he just wants to possess you.

From a girl's point of view:

No matter how much you love each other, don't accept the other's request too early, unless you don't mind these and the possible consequences.

Worthy and caring things must be reserved for precious people, right?

Today's topic:

For you, how long does it take for you to accept a relationship?

(The source network of the article with pictures)