Psychology: 'Excessive care about other people's opinions' is the thinking of the weak
Life is short, you must live a wonderful life, live an interesting life, and live out what you want to be.
Everyone should have this mentality: "My life is completely in my own hands and has nothing to do with others."
"Others laugh at me for being crazy, but I laugh at others for not being able to see through."
Personality will collapse, even your idol, there will be a day when the image collapses;
Living with a mask on is tiring, and over time you end up in internal friction.
Caring too much about other people's opinions and evaluations will only ruin your own life.
As the writer Wilde said:
"Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
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Why do you care so much what other people think?
First: In the original family, an "obedience personality" was developed
If a person's living conditions from childhood to adulthood are controlled by their parents.
Parents say what they say and have the absolute right to speak in the family. They simply don't give their children the opportunity to express their opinions and tell themselves.
No matter what kind of ideas and pursuits children have, once they go against their parents' opinions, they will be criticized and rejected by their parents.
Even if the child is an adult, the parents do not give the child independent and free space, and still interfere with all aspects of the child's affairs.
Growing up in this kind of family state, you can easily form an "obedience personality".
Facing the demands of others, dare not refuse, subconsciously obey;
In the face of other people's opinions and evaluations, you will overturn your original point of view, even if others are wrong.
The family of origin is the root cause of a person's "excessive care about the opinions of the outside world".
Children who have never felt the praise, understanding and tolerance of their parents are very fragile and have low self-esteem.
Once he meets the person who praises him, supports him, and encourages him, his heart will become soft.
Second: subconscious fear, fear of offending others
Paying too much attention to the evaluation and opinions of the unexpected world is also related to the fear of offending the other party.
Their thoughts are often:
"I can't say no or they'll hate me"
"I can't directly conflict with the other party, or I will be hurt"
"It's okay, suffering is a blessing, just bear with it"
You worry about being isolated by those around you;
Worried about being targeted and hurt by others;
You are more afraid that because of your rejection, the relationship between you will break down.
Whether in social, work, life or intimate relationships, you are the one who "please, admit your mistakes, and bow your head".
Third: Lack of assertiveness, always living in the expectations of others
Some people can't make up their minds no matter what they do.
what to eat to ask others.
doing what? Follow in the footsteps of others.
Where do you go to relax? Or ask the opinions of those around you.
No matter what they do, they can't make up their minds.
In essence, this is also a manifestation of a person's lack of self-confidence; they are more willing to live in the expectations of others, and are used to following the trend.
Fourth: The performance of "low self-esteem"
Regarding people's self-esteem, it is actually divided into "high self-esteem and low self-esteem".
People with high self-esteem, they are confident and determined, they don't care about the opinions of the outside world, they decide their own way and go on.
People with low self-esteem always live in the expectations, demands and evaluations of others; once they lose connection with the people around them, they cannot control their own lives.
They are used to living in the rules, and they have been "obedient and sensible people" since childhood;
Once he loses the rules and the demands of others, he doesn't know how to proceed.
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How to change this "bad" state?
The strong never cared about other people's opinions, because he firmly believed: "As long as I am good enough, my words are the truth."
Only the successful ones are qualified to be convincing, and the losers will not be believed no matter how much they say.
Weak people always need the approval of others, live in the eyes of others, and eventually lose their own direction.
How to break through the limitations of this kind of thinking and grasp your own life?
1. Focus on yourself, not the outside world
From now on, stop thinking, "What do they think of me? Will they be upset? Will they ignore me?"
What you should be thinking is, "How am I feeling right now?"
"If I do this, what impact will it have on the future?"
"How should I arrange my work and life in the future?"
The premise of loving yourself is to turn your attention to yourself instead of others.
Feel your emotions, pay attention to your changes, and accept your strengths and weaknesses.
2. Learn to care about your own needs and try to satisfy yourself
for example:
You go out to a team building dinner with your colleagues.
Everyone is going to climb the mountain. If you are thirsty at this time, then you can buy your own water to drink.
When others are thirsty, they will naturally take care of themselves, and you don't need to look at others.
We are all adults and should learn to take care of ourselves.
If you ask others every time: "Do you want to drink water?"
Over time, you become that "errand runner".
From the very beginning, you have to be a man of principle.
This is not selfishness, but shaping the image you leave to the outside world.
The more cold and measured a person is, the easier it is to gain the respect of others.
Care about your emotions, care about your needs, and work hard to meet your goals and desires.
If no one loves you, then love yourself;
If no one praises you, cheer yourself up every day to form positive emotional value.
Self-confidence is accumulated in daily self-satisfaction.
Today's topic:
Do you care about the opinions and evaluations of those around you?
(The source network of the article with pictures)